Never be defined by your past: it was just a lesson, not a life sentence

During a recent interview at London Real, the author and philosopher Alain De Botton shared few thoughts about being “good enough” and stop grumping about any upbringing challenge.

For Alain, we as adults sit on an emotional base that was formed in childhood. As such, many of the behaviours that we manifest as adults can be traced back to things that happened to us as a child. He acknowledges that this could sound very boring! C’mon: we are adults, we are the captains of our souls; should we think that part of what we are doing now actually dates back to something related to our parents? Yes, and the best thing we can do is to open up to it and recognize it. We are all products of our childhood.

However, Alain also states that, past our early 40s, we need to stop grumping about our parents and realize they did what they could, considering who they were and where they were coming from. We need to realize that we all, as parents, children and individuals alike, “don’t need to be perfect: we only need to be good enough”. Depending on who we are, Alan thinks this sentence could sound either obvious or miraculous: for many, this approach can open a new personal development journey of self-acceptance.

Do you resonate with Alain’s comments? Identifying a “good enough” identity and good enough goals is truly a life-long exercise, and it is definitely part of an intentional living lifestyle. Alain also makes me think about how important it is to learn to write-off losses: let go of any resentment and burden linked to our childhood, upbringing or past events alike.

His thoughts remind me of this quote: Never be defined by your past: it was just a lesson, not a life sentence.

Enjoy your journey for your good enough sweet spot.